Post Script

An Indian poet, Abdullah Khan Ghalib, once wrote, "I asked my soul, what is Delhi? It replied, the world is the body, Delhi is its soul." After my first day in Delhi, I thought, If that's true, what a tortured soul Delhi is.

I have been home a week and I confess, I am not quite back yet despite the busyness that I immediately plunged into in Toronto.

Part of the unsettled feeling is my love-hate relationship with Delhi, and indeed with India. There is so much to dislike in the parts of India I visited, but so much more that is intriguing, that makes me want to explore the country more. Jill has said several times, On this trip, you've seen the underbelly of India - these are some of the poorest people in the world. Maybe so. But when I think underbelly, I think danger, seediness, and disrespect.

Granted, maybe that's what the local poor experience, not visitors who can leave and return to the West any time. I certainly picked up hints of that when I did not stay with the foreigners as a group. But my sense of India echoes what Sandra said: India is not dangerous, it's just kind of wacky.

I don't want to leave India on a low note. I have not left on a low note, but I have not seen enough of India. I've caught glimpses of its beauty in Kashmir and in blogs that fellow marchers who are still in India are writing. For example, in Madeleine's blog.

In books, when I come across an author referring to a city as a woman and attributes human characteristics to her, I've never really understood what that meant. But now I know. I have been treating Delhi like a person. I think it's a she. She sits there, like an impassive mother, not caring whether I am well or not, because she knows I am capable of looking after myself. And what's the worst that could happen to me? I get frustrated, I get mad. Meh. She is chaotic, noisy, unpredictable, and expansive. She is a person I need to know better to prevent her from inadvertently doing me harm; she is like an enemy I need to conquer. But in her busy disorder, she is non-discriminating and provides respite to those who seek balm.

It's these little respites that intrigue me, that make me think India may be fermenting, and Delhi is a reflection of that fervour, but I have reason to believe she will emerge as a good place on earth when things get sorted out. It must be human nature to not settle for what is but always to look for the good. I have seen that good in Delhi's frenetic craze.

For example, when I wandered Connaught Place with a map in front of me, a man offered to direct me to where I wanted to go. I told him I didn't have a destination in mind; I was merely trying to get my bearing. He looked at my map, showed me where I was on the map, then said, Your map is an old one. You need an updated one. So he took me to a tourist bureau for a new map. Before leaving me, he advised, India's official tourist information bureaus carry the Indian government's official stamp, but they are also travel agencies. Go in there and ask for an updated map of Delhi. Don't let them sell you a trip anywhere, unless you want to go on a trip. Then he took his leave.

Inside the tourist bureau, the agent gave me a new map and offered me several tours. I told him I didn't want to book anything, that I would like to gather information only, especially on how to get to the Himalayas. He had someone bring me chai and explained several possibilities. Then he gave me his card and bade me a good day. There was no pressure selling.

The next time someone offered me help, I was trying to use the pay phone at the airport. Seeing me hang up several times, a man came up to look at my phone number and explained what the different digits meant. I had been dialing too many digits. He helped me get through to my call and waved good bye.

Later, for another phone call, I needed 1 Rupee coins. I went to a busy coffee stand and asked for change for my 100 Rupee note. The man behind the counter said he didn't have enough coin change for me, but he did have two 1-Rupee coin in his drawer. So he gave them to me and said, It's okay, use these, no problem. Later, I realized me, the "rich" foreigner, effectively bummed money off a vendor.

Each time I took a taxi from the airport, I knew I was being overcharged, but I also saw the drivers were just doing what they could to make a living. So I pay a bit more, but they were as hospitable as can be, pointing out the different sites of the city to me, inquiring about my family, telling me about theirs. They ensured I not only got to the address I gave them, but made sure someone was at that address to receive me, even if they had to inquire at the neighbouring addresses and wait with me till someone I knew came. I sensed they did not want to leave me stranded and vulnerable.

And then there is Shannon and Lisa, who have stayed in Delhi to work for Ekta Parishad. They share an apartment that provides accommodation to those who do work for the organization. They extended their apartment to me as shelter when I went through Delhi. And I received the benefit of their company as well as the company of those who happened to stay at the apartment when I was there.

The thing is, each time I came into Delhi, the city seemed more manageable, more civilized, more hospitable, less crazy, but always filled with potential for the unexpected. I think the rest of India is also like that, if I could come into the country a few times more.

As I write this, ice pellets are falling outside. It's -9C with the wind chill in Toronto. I toss my cigarette butt in the compost bin and throw a handful of snow over it. I am really glad I have a heated house to go inside to. I've just dyed my hair. I wonder what's happening in India. Is Delhi still hot and dusty? Have all the marchers made it home and are they comfortable in their homes with their families? I hope so. The weather forecast says Srinagar is -1C but sunny this week. Has snow arrived? They don't have central heating. Are men walking around with a pot of hot coal under their farans yet? Are all the women staying inside stoking the fire to keep their families warm?

I think India is still waiting for me.